Here’s everything you need to know about the world of television for Wednesday, March 11th, 2026:
WHAT WE DON'T KNOW ABOUT PARAMOUNT SKYDANCE & WBD ARE THE THINGS THAT REALLY MATTER
There have been endless think pieces recounting all of the challenges faced by Paramount Skydance as it attempts to close its merger with Warner Bros. Discovery. You'll read a lot about "scale" and massive job cuts, and all of that is important.
But the truth is that the streaming video industry has almost no transparency when it comes to providing the metrics that might help outsiders judge the health of either of these companies. David Ellison continues to tout the overall subscriber numbers for the combined companies. But there is a reason why Netflix and other streamers have decided to not report subscriber numbers. Because there is no correlation between the number of subscribers and whether or not a streaming company might be profitable.
If I could wave a magic wand and get access to the numbers that matter, this is the data that would allow me to figure out the relative health of Paramount Skydance and WBD. As well as whether things will change when they are combined into one massive media empire:
1) Churn Rates And Costs Of Customer Acquisition
In some ways, streaming services are no different than Whirlpool or Facebook. The ultimate measure of success comes down to two metrics and these are ones we will likely never see discussed publicly. How much does it cost to get a new subscriber and what is the monthly churn rate (how many people unsubscribe)? Your service can have a dozen "hits," but if it costs you more to attract and retain subscribers than you can bring in from them over the lifetime of their subscription, then you will never make money.
2) How Many Active Subscribers Does The Service Have?
There are a couple of factors here and both of them provide clarity for how vital the service is to their subscribers. What percentage of the subscribers are watching at least ten hours a month? This measurement weeds out people who keep paying for their service and never get around to using it regularly. This number is especially important when it comes to Amazon, since it's not clear what percentage of the people who subscribe to the Amazon Prime service go on to take advantage of the free Amazon Instant Video streaming service. But it is also an issue in streaming bundles, when one or more of the bundled streamers might be mostly ignored by subscribers.
3) How Many Subscribers Does The Service Actually Have?
Most of the large streaming services provide reasonably accurate quarterly subscriber numbers. But for instance, WBD has never broken out how many people subscribe to Discovery+. And we also don't know how many people subscribe to both HBO Max and Discovery+, which would mean they are being double-counted in the overall total.
4) How Many Of The Subscriptions Are Discounted?
This is a question that is of special interest with both Paramount+ and HBO Max, which are currently being offered in all sorts of add-on deals that boost the overall subscriber numbers at a discounted price that brings in less revenue. For instance, Walmart+ subscribers can get Paramount+ for free. Walmart is paying Paramount some discounted price per subscriber. But we don't how many customers have taken advantage of that deal or at what cost?
It's the same issue with HBO Max's deals with everyone from DirecTV to Philo. Subscribers to those services get the ad-supported HBO Max for free. Which expands that ad-supported audience. But we have no idea how that affects the WBD bottom line.
5) Where Are The New Subscribers Coming From?
Thanks to the success of Amazon Channels, every platform from Roku to your cable company have added the ability to subscribe to streaming services through them. But that third-party subscription integration comes at a price. Typically, a few dollars per new subscription. But aside from the initial flat payment (which can fall into "costs of customer acquisition" part of question #1), a more important metric is the percentage of total new subscribers that are coming from these third parties. If it's high, that suggests the service has exhausted its pool of easy to capture new subscribers. Which points to an eventual slowing or stalling of growth.
Honestly, I could come up another five or ten data points I'd like to have. But the truth no one wants to hear is that we have little insight into how successfully either one of those streaming platforms are executing their strategy. And that lack of transparency won't improve after the merger.
ODDS AND SODS
* The dating series Love Overboard will premiere Thursday, March 26th on Hulu. Here is the official logline: "Get ready to hit the high seas with “Love Overboard”! Step aboard the ultimate luxury yacht, where sexy singles are ready to mix and mingle … and find love. But there's a twist … gaining access to the yacht's extravagant amenities won't be so simple. As the journey unfolds, romance ignites; alliances form; and hearts are shattered. In the end, only one couple will reign supreme. Who will rise to the top, and who will be left stranded."
* Season nine of Rick and Morty will premiere Sunday, May 24th on Adult Swim.
* Jeff Dunham’s The Cars That Drove Us, a new series hosted by ventriloquist comedian Jeff Dunham, is set to premiere Tuesday, March 31st on the Discovery Channel.
* The Washington Post is reporting that The Pentagon barred press photographers from briefings on the ongoing U.S.-Israeli military conflict with Iran after they published photos of Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth that his staff deemed "unflattering."
* At Home With the Furys, the reality series chronicling the life of champion boxer Tyson Fury and his family, is being renewed for a third season by Netflix ahead of season two's premiere next month.
* Benito Mussolini's granddaughter is going to compete in Italy's version of Celebrity Big Brother. I'm sure everything will be fine.
TWEET OF THE DAY
Grammarly has recently launched what it refers to as "expert" editors, and the editing suggestions can be given by what it claims are the style of hundreds if not thousands of writers - both alive and dead. They didn't ask for permission ahead of time, but they do make the offer that if you want your name (and janky hacked-together "style") removed from their service, you can request for them to do so. Of course, that doesn't help if you're a writer who is dead, but details, details.
Veteran television critic and culture writer Maureen Ryan is one of those writers who had their "style" stolen by Grammarly and based on the piece she just posted, her reaction seems to be along the lines of "murderous:"
I do not want to hear even the slightest amount of bullshit about how you didn’t need to ask for permission to use our names and use our identities in your review function. You just wanted to steal, so you stole. You wanted to take things without permission, so you did. It’s wrong. It’s so enragingly wrong. I hope everyone in the world stops using your service. Because a business built on theft is not a business, it’s a scam.
I began writing professionally in the early ’90s. I have built a name for myself for decades, at various respected publications and through a best-selling nonfiction book. People know who I am through social media, and through investigative stories, reviews, opinion pieces, features and interviews I’ve published. Who I am, what I stand for, my reputation in multiple arenas — all that took years to build.
You just take that? You just take my identity? And you do that in an environment where making a living from writing is an ever more precarious proposition? And then you make me take time out of my day to tell you that’s wrong? You know that’s wrong. Of course it is. You just do not care.
As I wrote this, I saw that Grammarly is now sending out emails explaining they are taking their expert service off-line and they are super sorry:
WHAT'S COMING TONIGHT AND TOMORROW
WEDNESDAY, MARCH 11TH:
* Age Of Attraction Series Premiere (Netflix)
* Louis Theroux: Inside The Manosphere (Netflix)
* Scarpetta Series Premiere (Prime Video)
* Sunny Nights Series Premiere (Hulu)
THURSDAY, MARCH 12TH:
* Ancient Structures: Secrets Revealed Series Premiere (NatGeo)
* Love Is Blind: Sweden Season Premiere (Netflix)
* Made In Korea (Netflix)
* Mudtown Series Premiere (Brtibox)
* OWN Spotlight: Roberta (OWN)
* Star Trek: Starfleet Academy Season One Finale (Paramount+)
* The Proof Is Out There: Alien Edition Season Premiere (History)
* The Secret Lives Of Mormon Wives Season Four Premiere (Hulu)
* The Stroke Series Premiere (Viaplay)
* Virgin River Season Premiere (Netflix)
* Wild Rose Series Premiere (ALLBLK)
SEE YOU THURSDAY!
