Review: 'Survivor"

Sometimes, television shows are on the air because the network really believes in the project. Or because it features some quality acting, or is produced by the hot producer de jour of the moment. But sometimes, a series debuts for reasons which have a lot to do with the bottom line of the network. And in the case of Survivor, this quote from CBS Television President Leslie Moonves says it all:

"No matter what the ratings are, we make a profit on it. It's been presold to eight advertisers, so either way, we're okay."

Ka-ching!

Survivor is the latest in a series of "real-life" dramas that have hit the airwaves this season. Besides the procession of annoying MTV Real World shows, ABC debuted Making the Band, a show which follows a group of wannabe boytoys as they audition to be the next Peter Tork. Big Brother is hitting the airwaves in July, with several other shows on the drawing boards.

Survivor is a European import, and takes a Robinson Crusoe approach to real life. 16 volunteers are taken to a deserted tropical island, left with few resources and a bunch of cameras following their every move.

Split into two groups, the show resembles one part "Lord Of The Flies" and one part "Battle Of The Network Stars." The two groups compete against each other in all sorts of odd pretend-jungle competitions, with the winners acquiring luxuries such as matches and hammocks, while the losers get together in a "tribal council" which votes one member off the island. Each episode, a cast member disappears, until the one remaining contestant walks away with one million dollars in cash.

This show--like the others I mentioned earlier--is most compelling when it delves into the quirky personality flaws of its participants. From the first, 37-year-old lawyer Stacy Stillman seems determined to clash with a retired Navy SEAL whom she complains is "bossy." In fact, by the end of the first episode she conspires to vote him off the island, a fairly dumb move since he arguably has the best survival skills of any of the contestants. Her already whiny complaints make her a center of the camera's attentions. Although it probably doesn't hurt that she looks good in a bathing suit.

Other personalities seemed destined to stand out, from a corporate trainer who seeks to manipulate by building a consensus to a female truck driver who discusses her anticipation over sampling a cooked rat, which she supposes to be similar in taste to a squirrel.

Where this show stumbles is in the area of presentation. Jeff Probst hosts the episodes, and drifts in and out of scenes like the second tier game show he aspires to be.

And the sets--such as the competition areas and the laughable tribal council--are so over produced and lit that in the end they resemble scenes from the back lot of Universal Studios.

What strikes me about this show (and ABC's Making the Band), is the large number of bullheaded self-absorbed people walking around free in the US. In a situation where you need the cooperation of your fellow contestants to survive, many of these folks seems amazingly unable to bend even a bit. They argue over trivial, meaningless points, as if they are genetically incapable of admitting they may not know everything.

Luckily for CBS, they have an island full of potential jerks. And if they concentrate on that, I may just stick around for at least some of its 13-week run.

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  • SELECT `c`.`id`,`c`.`asset_id`,`c`.`access`,`c`.`alias`,`c`.`checked_out`,`c`.`checked_out_time`,`c`.`created_time`,`c`.`created_user_id`,`c`.`description`,`c`.`extension`,`c`.`hits`,`c`.`language`,`c`.`level`,`c`.`lft`,`c`.`metadata`,`c`.`metadesc`,`c`.`metakey`,`c`.`modified_time`,`c`.`note`,`c`.`params`,`c`.`parent_id`,`c`.`path`,`c`.`published`,`c`.`rgt`,`c`.`title`,`c`.`modified_user_id`,`c`.`version`, CASE WHEN CHAR_LENGTH(`c`.`alias`) != 0 THEN CONCAT_WS(':', `c`.`id`, `c`.`alias`) ELSE `c`.`id` END as `slug` FROM `tvlfg_categories` AS `s` INNER JOIN `tvlfg_categories` AS `c` ON (`s`.`lft` <= `c`.`lft` AND `c`.`lft` < `s`.`rgt`) OR (`c`.`lft` < `s`.`lft` AND `s`.`rgt` < `c`.`rgt`) WHERE (`c`.`extension` = :extension OR `c`.`extension` = 'system') AND `c`.`access` IN (:preparedArray1,:preparedArray2) AND `c`.`published` = 1 AND `s`.`id` = :id ORDER BY `c`.`lft`422μs5.17KBParams/libraries/src/Categories/Categories.php:375Copy
  • SELECT u.id, u.name, u.username, u.params FROM tvlfg_users AS u LEFT JOIN tvlfg_user_usergroup_map AS g ON g.user_id = u.id WHERE u.id = '51' GROUP BY u.id159μs1KB/plugins/system/t4/src/t4/MVC/Model/AuthorModel.php:279Copy
  • SELECT enabled FROM tvlfg_extensions WHERE `type` = 'plugin' AND `element` = 'profile'148μs856B/plugins/system/t4/src/t4/MVC/Model/AuthorModel.php:467Copy
  • SELECT profile_key, profile_value FROM tvlfg_user_profiles WHERE user_id = 51 AND profile_key LIKE 'profile.%' ORDER BY ordering155μs1.09KB/plugins/system/t4/src/t4/MVC/Model/AuthorModel.php:420Copy
  • SHOW FULL COLUMNS FROM `tvlfg_users`1.5ms2.2KB/libraries/vendor/joomla/database/src/Mysqli/MysqliDriver.php:625Copy
  • SELECT * FROM `tvlfg_users` WHERE `id` = :userid125μs4.41KBParams/libraries/src/Table/User.php:104Copy
  • SELECT `g`.`id`,`g`.`title` FROM `tvlfg_usergroups` AS `g` INNER JOIN `tvlfg_user_usergroup_map` AS `m` ON `m`.`group_id` = `g`.`id` WHERE `m`.`user_id` = :muserid192μs1.7KBParams/libraries/src/Table/User.php:132Copy
  • SELECT DISTINCT a.id, a.title, a.name, a.checked_out, a.checked_out_time, a.note, a.state, a.access, a.created_time, a.created_user_id, a.ordering, a.language, a.fieldparams, a.params, a.type, a.default_value, a.context, a.group_id, a.label, a.description, a.required, a.only_use_in_subform,l.title AS language_title, l.image AS language_image,uc.name AS editor,ag.title AS access_level,ua.name AS author_name,g.title AS group_title, g.access as group_access, g.state AS group_state, g.note as group_note FROM tvlfg_fields AS a LEFT JOIN `tvlfg_languages` AS l ON l.lang_code = a.language LEFT JOIN tvlfg_users AS uc ON uc.id=a.checked_out LEFT JOIN tvlfg_viewlevels AS ag ON ag.id = a.access LEFT JOIN tvlfg_users AS ua ON ua.id = a.created_user_id LEFT JOIN tvlfg_fields_groups AS g ON g.id = a.group_id WHERE ( (`a`.`context` = :context AND `a`.`access` IN (:preparedArray1,:preparedArray2)) AND (`a`.`group_id` = 0 OR `g`.`access` IN (:preparedArray3,:preparedArray4)) AND `a`.`state` = :state) AND (`a`.`group_id` = 0 OR `g`.`state` = :gstate) AND `a`.`only_use_in_subform` = :only_use_in_subform ORDER BY a.ordering ASC399μs5.31KBParams/libraries/src/MVC/Model/BaseDatabaseModel.php:166Copy
  • SELECT `name` FROM `tvlfg_users` WHERE id = '51'80μs11.84KB/plugins/system/t4/src/t4/MVC/Router/Content/Router.php:66Copy
  • SELECT username FROM tvlfg_users WHERE id=5170μs856B/plugins/system/t4/src/t4/MVC/Router/T4.php:288Copy
  • SELECT `m`.`id`,`m`.`title`,`m`.`module`,`m`.`position`,`m`.`content`,`m`.`showtitle`,`m`.`params`,`mm`.`menuid` FROM `tvlfg_modules` AS `m` LEFT JOIN `tvlfg_modules_menu` AS `mm` ON `mm`.`moduleid` = `m`.`id` LEFT JOIN `tvlfg_extensions` AS `e` ON `e`.`element` = `m`.`module` AND `e`.`client_id` = `m`.`client_id` WHERE ( ( (`m`.`published` = 1 AND `e`.`enabled` = 1 AND `m`.`client_id` = :clientId AND `m`.`access` IN (:preparedArray1,:preparedArray2)) AND (`m`.`publish_up` IS NULL OR `m`.`publish_up` <= :publishUp)) AND (`m`.`publish_down` IS NULL OR `m`.`publish_down` >= :publishDown)) AND (`mm`.`menuid` = :itemId OR `mm`.`menuid` <= 0) ORDER BY `m`.`position`,`m`.`ordering`1.04ms2.38KBParams/libraries/src/Cache/Controller/CallbackController.php:51Copy
  • SELECT `metakey` FROM `tvlfg_content` WHERE `id` = :id127μs1.63KBParams/modules/mod_related_items/src/Helper/RelatedItemsHelper.php:88Copy
  • SELECT `a`.`id` FROM `tvlfg_content` AS `a` WHERE ( ( (`a`.`id` != :id AND `a`.`state` = 1 AND `a`.`access` IN (:preparedArray1,:preparedArray2)) AND (`a`.`metakey` LIKE :preparedArray3)) AND (`a`.`publish_up` IS NULL OR `a`.`publish_up` <= :nowDate1)) AND (`a`.`publish_down` IS NULL OR `a`.`publish_down` >= :nowDate2) LIMIT 57.11ms1.74KBParams/modules/mod_related_items/src/Helper/RelatedItemsHelper.php:152Copy
  • SELECT `name`,`element` FROM `tvlfg_extensions` WHERE `type` = 'plugin' AND `folder` = 'finder' AND `enabled` = 1493μs976B/administrator/components/com_finder/src/Helper/LanguageHelper.php:135Copy
  • SELECT `title` FROM `tvlfg_finder_taxonomy` WHERE `parent_id` = 1 AND `state` = 1 AND `access` IN (1,5)199μs904B/administrator/components/com_finder/src/Indexer/Taxonomy.php:314Copy
  • SELECT * FROM tvlfg_acym_configuration333μs2.88KB/administrator/components/com_acym/libraries/joomla/database.php:32Copy
  • SELECT * FROM tvlfg_acym_list WHERE type = 'standard'129μs2.28KB/administrator/components/com_acym/libraries/joomla/database.php:32Copy
  • SELECT * FROM tvlfg_acym_field119μs2.31KB/administrator/components/com_acym/libraries/joomla/database.php:32Copy
  • SELECT * FROM tvlfg_acym_form WHERE active = 1 AND type != 'shortcode'100μs1.2KB/administrator/components/com_acym/libraries/joomla/database.php:32Copy
  • SELECT SUM(CASE WHEN `a`.`next_execution` <= :now THEN 1 ELSE 0 END) AS due_count,SUM(CASE WHEN `a`.`locked` IS NULL THEN 0 ELSE 1 END) AS locked_count FROM `tvlfg_scheduler_tasks` AS `a` WHERE `a`.`state` = 1151μs1.68KBParams/administrator/components/com_scheduler/src/Model/TasksModel.php:466Copy
  • SELECT `session_id` FROM `tvlfg_session` WHERE `session_id` = ?179μs1.63KBParams/libraries/vendor/joomla/session/src/Handler/DatabaseHandler.php:291Copy
  • UPDATE `tvlfg_session` SET `data` = ? , `time` = ? WHERE `session_id` = ?782μs912BParams/libraries/vendor/joomla/session/src/Handler/DatabaseHandler.php:318Copy