Too Much TV: Your TV Talking Points For Thursday, June 5th, 2024

Here's everything you need to know about the world of television for Thursday, June 5th, 2024:

VULTURE'S 2024 STREAMING POWER RANKINGS
Vulture's Joe Adalian has put together his annual power ranking of the various major streaming services and the feature is always fun to read. This year, the survey featured the opinions of "29 critics, execs, agents, producers, and analysts," and I was asked to contribute. 

Although to be honest, I'm not sure if any of my comments made the final cut, since I don't quite recall what I wrote at the time. I'm sure they didn't use my "the interface looks like it was designed by drunken monkeys" description for Amazon Prime. But everything else I wrote is a blur.

Regardless, it's a fun feature and I always appreciate someone who can crank out a nice hunk of snark in their comments:

“The offscreen drama for Paramount is way better than anything they have onscreen. If they had a Real Housewives of Shari Redstone, they would be No. 1.” —Studio executive

“David Zaslav would make a great CEO of G.E. in 1985; he is a terrible boss of an entertainment company in 2024. He has no feel for the creative at all. You can feel it when you look at the Max slate, which is … well, what is it, actually? It still seems like just the place where you wade through a bunch of crap to watch HBO shows.” —Veteran showrunner

“Netflix ranks ‘best’ in the same sense that the Death Star was the best planet-destroying space station in the galaxy. Just because everyone knows you and fears you does not mean you’re not a plague.” —Hollywood writer No. 2

10 UNSCRIPTED (UK) FORMATS BEGGING FOR A REBOOT
The Ankler's Series Business has a rundown of 10 long-forgotten unscripted formats that should be rebooted now that Gladiators is getting a reboot from Amazon Prime.

Which got me to thinking about which American unscripted formats deserve a reboot. I'm not going to run through ten choices here, but here are several shows I think would do well as a reboot:

Bands On The Run (2001, VH1)
Before the success of Top Chef and Project Runway, producer Dan Cutforth had this series, which featured four unsigned bands competing for a $50,000 cash prize, $100,000 in musical equipment from Guitar Center, a showcase in front of recording executives, and a fully produced music video to be aired on VH1. 

As VH1 described the show back then, "Each band plays a gig in a selected city. The act that makes the most money from ticket and merchandise sales wins. They set the prices. They promote the shows. All they have to survive on are $20 a day per band member, gas and phone cards, and a hotel room."

It was a bit of an awkward format in an era where social media didn't exist and most phones couldn't access the internet. But it was a fun idea, and in an era where scrappy indie bands do this type of thing on a regular basis, it could be a lot of fun.

Murder In Small Town X (Fox, 2001)
Wow, this show is perfect for the current true crime craze. 10 contestants from across America were brought to a fictional town where they were challenged to solve a murder. Each week, one of the contestants was "murdered" and disappeared from the show. The final contestant solves the case and wins $250,000.

While the first season of the show did okay in the ratings, the chances of additional seasons evaporated when the winner of the show died about a week after the season finale. Ángel Juarbe Jr., - a seven-year veteran of the FDNY - was a part of one of the first units to the World Trade Center on 9/11. He died in the collapse of the adjoining Marriott Hotel, while attempting to rescue another firefighter.

Flavor Of Love (VH1, 2006)
To be clear, no one wants to see another show with Flavor Flav in it. But the premise of the show - the chance to date a "celebrity" - can be a fun one. Although it is entirely dependent on the celebrity, who needs to be that perfect combination of quirky and charming. I am thinking Drew Barrymore, who seems game for just about anything and also has no problem oversharing her every thought and emotion.

On a related note, while it's not a reboot and I have no idea how it work, I would totally watch an unscripted series entitled Who's Trying To Kill Pete Davidson?

ODDS AND SODS
*
Adam Levine will be returning as a coach on The Voice in the spring of 2024, alongside new coach Kelsea Ballerini and returning coaches Michael Bublé and John Legend. NBC recently announced Bublé, Snoop Dogg, Reba McEntire and Gwen Stefani as coaches for season 26, coming this fall.

* Season two of Criminal Minds: Evolution premieres this week on Paramount+ and the streamer has picked up a third season of the show ahead of its return.

* Mike Judge’s Beavis And Butt-Head has been picked up for a third season.

* The CW has cancelled All American: Homecoming after three seasons.

WHAT'S NEW TONIGHT AND TOMORROW

WEDNESDAY, JUNE 5TH, 2024:
* Backed By The Bros Series Premiere (HGTV)
* Hitler And The Nazis: Evil On Trial (Netflix) 
* How To Rob A Bank (Netflix)
* Under Paris (Netflix)

THURSDAY, JUNE 6TH:
* Baki Hanma Vs Kengan Ashura (Netflix)
* Big City Greens The Movie: Spacecation (Disney)
* Criminal Minds: Evolution Season Premiere (Paramount+)
* Sweet Tooth Season Premiere (Netflix)

SEE YOU ON THURSDAY!

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  • SELECT DISTINCT a.id, a.title, a.name, a.checked_out, a.checked_out_time, a.note, a.state, a.access, a.created_time, a.created_user_id, a.ordering, a.language, a.fieldparams, a.params, a.type, a.default_value, a.context, a.group_id, a.label, a.description, a.required, a.only_use_in_subform,l.title AS language_title, l.image AS language_image,uc.name AS editor,ag.title AS access_level,ua.name AS author_name,g.title AS group_title, g.access as group_access, g.state AS group_state, g.note as group_note FROM tvlfg_fields AS a LEFT JOIN `tvlfg_languages` AS l ON l.lang_code = a.language LEFT JOIN tvlfg_users AS uc ON uc.id=a.checked_out LEFT JOIN tvlfg_viewlevels AS ag ON ag.id = a.access LEFT JOIN tvlfg_users AS ua ON ua.id = a.created_user_id LEFT JOIN tvlfg_fields_groups AS g ON g.id = a.group_id LEFT JOIN `tvlfg_fields_categories` AS fc ON fc.field_id = a.id WHERE ( (`a`.`context` = :context AND (`fc`.`category_id` IS NULL OR `fc`.`category_id` IN (:preparedArray1,:preparedArray2,:preparedArray3,:preparedArray4)) AND `a`.`access` IN (:preparedArray5,:preparedArray6)) AND (`a`.`group_id` = 0 OR `g`.`access` IN (:preparedArray7,:preparedArray8)) AND `a`.`state` = :state) AND (`a`.`group_id` = 0 OR `g`.`state` = :gstate) AND `a`.`only_use_in_subform` = :only_use_in_subform ORDER BY a.ordering ASC504μs6.06KBParams/libraries/src/MVC/Model/BaseDatabaseModel.php:166Copy
  • SELECT `a`.`id`,`a`.`title`,`a`.`catid`,`a`.`language`, CASE WHEN CHAR_LENGTH(`a`.`alias`) != 0 THEN CONCAT_WS(':', `a`.`id`, `a`.`alias`) ELSE a.id END AS `slug`, CASE WHEN CHAR_LENGTH(`cc`.`alias`) != 0 THEN CONCAT_WS(':', `cc`.`id`, `cc`.`alias`) ELSE cc.id END AS `catslug` FROM `tvlfg_content` AS `a` LEFT JOIN `tvlfg_categories` AS `cc` ON `cc`.`id` = `a`.`catid` WHERE `a`.`catid` = :catid AND `a`.`state` = :state AND `a`.`access` IN (:preparedArray1,:preparedArray2) AND (`publish_up` IS NULL OR `publish_up` <= :nowDate1) AND (`publish_down` IS NULL OR `publish_down` >= :nowDate2) ORDER BY CASE WHEN `a`.`publish_up` IS NULL THEN `a`.`created` ELSE `a`.`publish_up` END DESC2.78ms58.03KBParams/plugins/content/pagenavigation/src/Extension/PageNavigation.php:188Copy
  • SELECT `c`.`id`,`c`.`asset_id`,`c`.`access`,`c`.`alias`,`c`.`checked_out`,`c`.`checked_out_time`,`c`.`created_time`,`c`.`created_user_id`,`c`.`description`,`c`.`extension`,`c`.`hits`,`c`.`language`,`c`.`level`,`c`.`lft`,`c`.`metadata`,`c`.`metadesc`,`c`.`metakey`,`c`.`modified_time`,`c`.`note`,`c`.`params`,`c`.`parent_id`,`c`.`path`,`c`.`published`,`c`.`rgt`,`c`.`title`,`c`.`modified_user_id`,`c`.`version`, CASE WHEN CHAR_LENGTH(`c`.`alias`) != 0 THEN CONCAT_WS(':', `c`.`id`, `c`.`alias`) ELSE `c`.`id` END as `slug` FROM `tvlfg_categories` AS `s` INNER JOIN `tvlfg_categories` AS `c` ON (`s`.`lft` <= `c`.`lft` AND `c`.`lft` < `s`.`rgt`) OR (`c`.`lft` < `s`.`lft` AND `s`.`rgt` < `c`.`rgt`) WHERE (`c`.`extension` = :extension OR `c`.`extension` = 'system') AND `c`.`access` IN (:preparedArray1,:preparedArray2) AND `c`.`published` = 1 AND `s`.`id` = :id ORDER BY `c`.`lft`450μs5.19KBParams/libraries/src/Categories/Categories.php:375Copy
  • SELECT u.id, u.name, u.username, u.params FROM tvlfg_users AS u LEFT JOIN tvlfg_user_usergroup_map AS g ON g.user_id = u.id WHERE u.id = '51' GROUP BY u.id136μs1KB/plugins/system/t4/src/t4/MVC/Model/AuthorModel.php:279Copy
  • SELECT enabled FROM tvlfg_extensions WHERE `type` = 'plugin' AND `element` = 'profile'133μs856B/plugins/system/t4/src/t4/MVC/Model/AuthorModel.php:467Copy
  • SELECT profile_key, profile_value FROM tvlfg_user_profiles WHERE user_id = 51 AND profile_key LIKE 'profile.%' ORDER BY ordering164μs1.09KB/plugins/system/t4/src/t4/MVC/Model/AuthorModel.php:420Copy
  • SHOW FULL COLUMNS FROM `tvlfg_users`1.21ms2.2KB/libraries/vendor/joomla/database/src/Mysqli/MysqliDriver.php:625Copy
  • SELECT * FROM `tvlfg_users` WHERE `id` = :userid182μs4.41KBParams/libraries/src/Table/User.php:104Copy
  • SELECT `g`.`id`,`g`.`title` FROM `tvlfg_usergroups` AS `g` INNER JOIN `tvlfg_user_usergroup_map` AS `m` ON `m`.`group_id` = `g`.`id` WHERE `m`.`user_id` = :muserid160μs1.7KBParams/libraries/src/Table/User.php:132Copy
  • SELECT DISTINCT a.id, a.title, a.name, a.checked_out, a.checked_out_time, a.note, a.state, a.access, a.created_time, a.created_user_id, a.ordering, a.language, a.fieldparams, a.params, a.type, a.default_value, a.context, a.group_id, a.label, a.description, a.required, a.only_use_in_subform,l.title AS language_title, l.image AS language_image,uc.name AS editor,ag.title AS access_level,ua.name AS author_name,g.title AS group_title, g.access as group_access, g.state AS group_state, g.note as group_note FROM tvlfg_fields AS a LEFT JOIN `tvlfg_languages` AS l ON l.lang_code = a.language LEFT JOIN tvlfg_users AS uc ON uc.id=a.checked_out LEFT JOIN tvlfg_viewlevels AS ag ON ag.id = a.access LEFT JOIN tvlfg_users AS ua ON ua.id = a.created_user_id LEFT JOIN tvlfg_fields_groups AS g ON g.id = a.group_id WHERE ( (`a`.`context` = :context AND `a`.`access` IN (:preparedArray1,:preparedArray2)) AND (`a`.`group_id` = 0 OR `g`.`access` IN (:preparedArray3,:preparedArray4)) AND `a`.`state` = :state) AND (`a`.`group_id` = 0 OR `g`.`state` = :gstate) AND `a`.`only_use_in_subform` = :only_use_in_subform ORDER BY a.ordering ASC392μs5.31KBParams/libraries/src/MVC/Model/BaseDatabaseModel.php:166Copy
  • SELECT `name` FROM `tvlfg_users` WHERE id = '51'84μs11.84KB/plugins/system/t4/src/t4/MVC/Router/Content/Router.php:66Copy
  • SELECT username FROM tvlfg_users WHERE id=5172μs856B/plugins/system/t4/src/t4/MVC/Router/T4.php:288Copy
  • SELECT `m`.`id`,`m`.`title`,`m`.`module`,`m`.`position`,`m`.`content`,`m`.`showtitle`,`m`.`params`,`mm`.`menuid` FROM `tvlfg_modules` AS `m` LEFT JOIN `tvlfg_modules_menu` AS `mm` ON `mm`.`moduleid` = `m`.`id` LEFT JOIN `tvlfg_extensions` AS `e` ON `e`.`element` = `m`.`module` AND `e`.`client_id` = `m`.`client_id` WHERE ( ( (`m`.`published` = 1 AND `e`.`enabled` = 1 AND `m`.`client_id` = :clientId AND `m`.`access` IN (:preparedArray1,:preparedArray2)) AND (`m`.`publish_up` IS NULL OR `m`.`publish_up` <= :publishUp)) AND (`m`.`publish_down` IS NULL OR `m`.`publish_down` >= :publishDown)) AND (`mm`.`menuid` = :itemId OR `mm`.`menuid` <= 0) ORDER BY `m`.`position`,`m`.`ordering`1.14ms2.38KBParams/libraries/src/Cache/Controller/CallbackController.php:51Copy
  • SELECT `metakey` FROM `tvlfg_content` WHERE `id` = :id142μs1.63KBParams/modules/mod_related_items/src/Helper/RelatedItemsHelper.php:88Copy
  • SELECT `a`.`id` FROM `tvlfg_content` AS `a` WHERE ( ( (`a`.`id` != :id AND `a`.`state` = 1 AND `a`.`access` IN (:preparedArray1,:preparedArray2)) AND (`a`.`metakey` LIKE :preparedArray3 OR `a`.`metakey` LIKE :preparedArray4 OR `a`.`metakey` LIKE :preparedArray5 OR `a`.`metakey` LIKE :preparedArray6)) AND (`a`.`publish_up` IS NULL OR `a`.`publish_up` <= :nowDate1)) AND (`a`.`publish_down` IS NULL OR `a`.`publish_down` >= :nowDate2) LIMIT 52.49ms2.51KBParams/modules/mod_related_items/src/Helper/RelatedItemsHelper.php:152Copy
  • SELECT `a`.`id`,`a`.`title`,`a`.`alias`,`a`.`introtext`,`a`.`fulltext`,`a`.`checked_out`,`a`.`checked_out_time`,`a`.`catid`,`a`.`created`,`a`.`created_by`,`a`.`created_by_alias`,`a`.`modified`,`a`.`modified_by`,CASE WHEN `a`.`publish_up` IS NULL THEN `a`.`created` ELSE `a`.`publish_up` END AS `publish_up`,`a`.`publish_down`,`a`.`images`,`a`.`urls`,`a`.`attribs`,`a`.`metadata`,`a`.`metakey`,`a`.`metadesc`,`a`.`access`,`a`.`hits`,`a`.`featured`,`a`.`language`,LENGTH(`a`.`fulltext`) AS `readmore`,`a`.`ordering`,`fp`.`featured_up`,`fp`.`featured_down`,CASE WHEN `c`.`published` = 2 AND `a`.`state` > 0 THEN 2 WHEN `c`.`published` != 1 THEN 0 ELSE `a`.`state` END AS `state`,`c`.`title` AS `category_title`,`c`.`path` AS `category_route`,`c`.`access` AS `category_access`,`c`.`alias` AS `category_alias`,`c`.`language` AS `category_language`,`c`.`published`,`c`.`published` AS `parents_published`,`c`.`lft`,CASE WHEN `a`.`created_by_alias` > ' ' THEN `a`.`created_by_alias` ELSE `ua`.`name` END AS `author`,`ua`.`email` AS `author_email`,`uam`.`name` AS `modified_by_name`,`parent`.`title` AS `parent_title`,`parent`.`id` AS `parent_id`,`parent`.`path` AS `parent_route`,`parent`.`alias` AS `parent_alias`,`parent`.`language` AS `parent_language` FROM `tvlfg_content` AS `a` LEFT JOIN `tvlfg_categories` AS `c` ON `c`.`id` = `a`.`catid` LEFT JOIN `tvlfg_users` AS `ua` ON `ua`.`id` = `a`.`created_by` LEFT JOIN `tvlfg_users` AS `uam` ON `uam`.`id` = `a`.`modified_by` LEFT JOIN `tvlfg_categories` AS `parent` ON `parent`.`id` = `c`.`parent_id` LEFT JOIN `tvlfg_content_frontpage` AS `fp` ON `fp`.`content_id` = `a`.`id` WHERE `a`.`access` IN (:preparedArray1,:preparedArray2) AND `c`.`access` IN (:preparedArray3,:preparedArray4) AND `c`.`published` = 1 AND `a`.`state` = :condition AND `a`.`id` IN (:preparedArray5,:preparedArray6,:preparedArray7,:preparedArray8,:preparedArray9) AND (`a`.`publish_up` IS NULL OR `a`.`publish_up` <= :publishUp) AND (`a`.`publish_down` IS NULL OR `a`.`publish_down` >= :publishDown) ORDER BY a.ordering ASC1.22ms97.61KBParams/libraries/src/MVC/Model/BaseDatabaseModel.php:166Copy
  • SELECT `m`.`tag_id`,`m`.`content_item_id`,`t`.* FROM `tvlfg_contentitem_tag_map` AS `m` INNER JOIN `tvlfg_tags` AS `t` ON `m`.`tag_id` = `t`.`id` WHERE `m`.`type_alias` = :contentType AND `t`.`published` = 1 AND `m`.`content_item_id` IN (:preparedArray1,:preparedArray2,:preparedArray3,:preparedArray4,:preparedArray5) AND `t`.`access` IN (:preparedArray6,:preparedArray7)3.54ms5.44KBParams/libraries/src/Helper/TagsHelper.php:448Copy
  • SELECT `c`.`id`,`c`.`asset_id`,`c`.`access`,`c`.`alias`,`c`.`checked_out`,`c`.`checked_out_time`,`c`.`created_time`,`c`.`created_user_id`,`c`.`description`,`c`.`extension`,`c`.`hits`,`c`.`language`,`c`.`level`,`c`.`lft`,`c`.`metadata`,`c`.`metadesc`,`c`.`metakey`,`c`.`modified_time`,`c`.`note`,`c`.`params`,`c`.`parent_id`,`c`.`path`,`c`.`published`,`c`.`rgt`,`c`.`title`,`c`.`modified_user_id`,`c`.`version`, CASE WHEN CHAR_LENGTH(`c`.`alias`) != 0 THEN CONCAT_WS(':', `c`.`id`, `c`.`alias`) ELSE `c`.`id` END as `slug` FROM `tvlfg_categories` AS `s` INNER JOIN `tvlfg_categories` AS `c` ON (`s`.`lft` <= `c`.`lft` AND `c`.`lft` < `s`.`rgt`) OR (`c`.`lft` < `s`.`lft` AND `s`.`rgt` < `c`.`rgt`) WHERE (`c`.`extension` = :extension OR `c`.`extension` = 'system') AND `c`.`access` IN (:preparedArray1,:preparedArray2) AND `c`.`published` = 1 AND `s`.`id` = :id ORDER BY `c`.`lft`788μs5.19KBParams/libraries/src/Categories/Categories.php:375Copy
  • SELECT `name`,`element` FROM `tvlfg_extensions` WHERE `type` = 'plugin' AND `folder` = 'finder' AND `enabled` = 1561μs976B/administrator/components/com_finder/src/Helper/LanguageHelper.php:135Copy
  • SELECT `title` FROM `tvlfg_finder_taxonomy` WHERE `parent_id` = 1 AND `state` = 1 AND `access` IN (1,5)216μs904B/administrator/components/com_finder/src/Indexer/Taxonomy.php:314Copy
  • SELECT * FROM tvlfg_acym_configuration397μs2.88KB/administrator/components/com_acym/libraries/joomla/database.php:32Copy
  • SELECT * FROM tvlfg_acym_list WHERE type = 'standard'166μs2.28KB/administrator/components/com_acym/libraries/joomla/database.php:32Copy
  • SELECT * FROM tvlfg_acym_field156μs2.31KB/administrator/components/com_acym/libraries/joomla/database.php:32Copy
  • SELECT * FROM tvlfg_acym_form WHERE active = 1 AND type != 'shortcode'149μs1.2KB/administrator/components/com_acym/libraries/joomla/database.php:32Copy
  • SELECT SUM(CASE WHEN `a`.`next_execution` <= :now THEN 1 ELSE 0 END) AS due_count,SUM(CASE WHEN `a`.`locked` IS NULL THEN 0 ELSE 1 END) AS locked_count FROM `tvlfg_scheduler_tasks` AS `a` WHERE `a`.`state` = 1204μs1.68KBParams/administrator/components/com_scheduler/src/Model/TasksModel.php:466Copy
  • SELECT `session_id` FROM `tvlfg_session` WHERE `session_id` = ?188μs1.63KBParams/libraries/vendor/joomla/session/src/Handler/DatabaseHandler.php:291Copy
  • UPDATE `tvlfg_session` SET `data` = ? , `time` = ? WHERE `session_id` = ?695μs912BParams/libraries/vendor/joomla/session/src/Handler/DatabaseHandler.php:318Copy