In the episode "Sky Police," Marge’s congregation resorts to gambling in order to collect enough money to repair their church.
Here are the five best lines from the episode:
"Justice has a new name....up."
--Chief Wiggums is pretty happy about his new jet pack
"God doesn't hear MY prayers. If he did, I'd be at home, on the couch...playing video games....in a diaper."
--Bart is not convinced that he should be going to church
"Oh, God gets your prayers. But he just clicks 'delete' without reading them. Like email updates from LinkedIn."
--Homer explains his views on prayer to Bart
"Relax, Marge. If God lets Jews have Sunday on a Saturday, he'll be cool with this."
--Rev. Lovejoy is convinced that God would be okay with card-counting at a casino
"Dear Lord, thank you for granting us the gift of rationalization, to allow us to scheme and swindle so that we might honor you."
--Rev. Lovejoy is thankful that the group's scheme at the casino worked